🥥Definitely an introvert. I remember my first day at school and the first recess, when everyone else was running around and yelling and I sat on the floor in a corner, completely overwhelmed. Last night, I was at a Halloween party. Same. Although I didn't sit on floor - I found another introvert and had a one-on-one conversation. New Jersey, with its more southern European descendent population, is definitely peachier that Washington, with its northern European origins. I'm more comfortable here.
Great analogy, Monica. And also very true that we're all fruits and maybe on a continuum fluctuating between coconut and peach depending on the situation we find ourselves in. I was nodding at both the bit about Germans being excited about talking about work first thing and Spanish people avoiding it. One of my best friends grew up in Germany but is originally from Palestine and we clicked because neither of us can do small talk at work, which she was surprised to learn. But then we also love socialising around food and taking time to have a proper coffee break too because, like you say, in both our cultures it's more a sign of "I value you beyond what you can do for me and therefore I'm glad to spend time at work with you that doesn't have to lead to producing anything". Except in the end it does as you connect better and by extension work better. As a side note, when I joined my current job I still had very ingrained in me the custom of giving two kisses to total strangers and it was a big learning curve. Now I'm the one surprised if someone attempts that with me, even when I'm back in Spain 😅
The trick is in the details, isn't it? As we're each a multitude of fruits, we need to find what works in each context and also with whom we can share how we are. I can only imagine you giving two kisses to strangers in London hahah! It's probably a good ice-breaker, if they don't back away terrified. 😆
I think the US is in a league of its own with its extroversion on steroids, compared to any point on the coconut-peach spectrum in Europe. I find it quite exhausting as you have to permanently wear a face like a Kabuki theater actor and at the same time the interactions are empty and boring.
Living in another culture definitely does rub off on you, I remember a (shy) Swedish friend in NYC telling me how when she goes back for the summer and finds herself waiting for the light to change with another person, and says something small-talkish, she gets these looks like “what is wrong with you” and realizes she’s been trained into the American format. Have noticed this about myself too back in Europe, like a Pavlov dog response, doing things you wouldn’t usually do.
Oh absolutely right, US is indeed in a league of its own, and also as John pointed above, there are certain States which are more coconut-y than others. But yes, I agree the tone is dialled up considerably. Yeah no, Swedes don't do small talk, much less on the street. 😊
I’ve often thought of it in terms of warm or cold, following the climate of a country, rather than the peach or coconut analogy. But I know exactly what you’re talking about!😋
This is so useful for me! I think I’d subconsciously noticed some of these things but wasn’t sure if it was just where I was working or what it meant. I look forward to more comparisons! I think it’s going to help me 🥰
Glad they resonated, Elaine! You must have had your share of ‘fruit salads’. 😆 I never lived in the UK but I get the impression they are more ‘peachy’ than we perceive from afar. Is that so?
I think it depends on the circles. In the north of England, people are definitely more on the peachy end but some people are a hard nut to crack but if you do, you’re a lifelong friend. 🤣🤞🏻
🥥Definitely an introvert. I remember my first day at school and the first recess, when everyone else was running around and yelling and I sat on the floor in a corner, completely overwhelmed. Last night, I was at a Halloween party. Same. Although I didn't sit on floor - I found another introvert and had a one-on-one conversation. New Jersey, with its more southern European descendent population, is definitely peachier that Washington, with its northern European origins. I'm more comfortable here.
One-on-one conversations away from the noisy crowd are so fulfilling!
You bring a great point, John, about the various states within the US. Never been to Washington state, but it sounds like a place I'd enjoy.
Great analogy, Monica. And also very true that we're all fruits and maybe on a continuum fluctuating between coconut and peach depending on the situation we find ourselves in. I was nodding at both the bit about Germans being excited about talking about work first thing and Spanish people avoiding it. One of my best friends grew up in Germany but is originally from Palestine and we clicked because neither of us can do small talk at work, which she was surprised to learn. But then we also love socialising around food and taking time to have a proper coffee break too because, like you say, in both our cultures it's more a sign of "I value you beyond what you can do for me and therefore I'm glad to spend time at work with you that doesn't have to lead to producing anything". Except in the end it does as you connect better and by extension work better. As a side note, when I joined my current job I still had very ingrained in me the custom of giving two kisses to total strangers and it was a big learning curve. Now I'm the one surprised if someone attempts that with me, even when I'm back in Spain 😅
The trick is in the details, isn't it? As we're each a multitude of fruits, we need to find what works in each context and also with whom we can share how we are. I can only imagine you giving two kisses to strangers in London hahah! It's probably a good ice-breaker, if they don't back away terrified. 😆
The first time I went in for a kiss after a meeting the person stepped back and said “what was that?” 😳
Hahaha! I bed you had some explaining to do. 🤭
I used the "sorry, I'm a foreigner" card and luckily it worked : )
I think the US is in a league of its own with its extroversion on steroids, compared to any point on the coconut-peach spectrum in Europe. I find it quite exhausting as you have to permanently wear a face like a Kabuki theater actor and at the same time the interactions are empty and boring.
Living in another culture definitely does rub off on you, I remember a (shy) Swedish friend in NYC telling me how when she goes back for the summer and finds herself waiting for the light to change with another person, and says something small-talkish, she gets these looks like “what is wrong with you” and realizes she’s been trained into the American format. Have noticed this about myself too back in Europe, like a Pavlov dog response, doing things you wouldn’t usually do.
Oh absolutely right, US is indeed in a league of its own, and also as John pointed above, there are certain States which are more coconut-y than others. But yes, I agree the tone is dialled up considerably. Yeah no, Swedes don't do small talk, much less on the street. 😊
I love the analogy 🍑 🥥 and I’ve seen this for sure. Even within different areas of the same country to a lesser extent.
I’m never sure how I feel able sticking ourselves or others too tightly in one box. We’re all a salad as you say.
I feel when you feel you belong with a group or in a place the softness and ease is there whichever way you get at it 🤷♀️
I really like your last thought: when you feel you found your tribe, somehow very quickly any hardness or closeness naturally falls off. 😍
That’s at least how I experience it. I can stop thinking about who I am or how I’m behaving and just be.
I’ve often thought of it in terms of warm or cold, following the climate of a country, rather than the peach or coconut analogy. But I know exactly what you’re talking about!😋
Yeah, it's another way of visualising it introduced by some social studies. 😊
This is so useful for me! I think I’d subconsciously noticed some of these things but wasn’t sure if it was just where I was working or what it meant. I look forward to more comparisons! I think it’s going to help me 🥰
Glad to hear it was helpful, Sheila! I think Southern Spain is even more ripe when it comes to its ‘peachiness’. 😊
I would agree with that! Very sociable and extroverted bunch 😆
Love these analogies as someone who has lived in the UK, Germany, and the southern US. 🤩🫶🏻
Glad they resonated, Elaine! You must have had your share of ‘fruit salads’. 😆 I never lived in the UK but I get the impression they are more ‘peachy’ than we perceive from afar. Is that so?
I think it depends on the circles. In the north of England, people are definitely more on the peachy end but some people are a hard nut to crack but if you do, you’re a lifelong friend. 🤣🤞🏻
Hehe interesting! 😊