Well said. I’ve experienced both sides at different times. I do think, whether as a local or a temporary local, we need to find ways of connecting to things in ways that enrich our spirits at a deeper level, and that’s where much joy and belonging comes from. Many expat friend groups I’ve seen seem to be based too often on superficial factors or temporary circumstance and don’t last. Of course, much the same could be said about coworkers or school mates even if you’re all from the same place. At this point, I just try to observe deeply and seek out kindred spirits wherever they are, and increasingly, seek out places where pro social and happy attitudes seem more ingrained in life as a matter of course.
That's a great add-on to my points, Nick. I fully agree that the least bit of common ground may not be enough for deeper connections that can last. Yeah, many expat groups are (also) superficial and temporary. The challenge is to find those kindred spirits, that's for sure!
I was once told a great saying for what you’ve described @Nick.
‘A friend for a season, a friend for a reason and a friend for life’.
I think expat groups are good for meeting people, but not so great for making lasting friendships as the connection is superficial and temporary as you said. So perhaps a friend for a season.
Those coworkers could fall under season or reason, the reason being work. It is the reason you become friends.
Then those deep connections and kindred spirits are the friends for life. Even if you don’t stay in touch, we all have those friends that if you did pick up the phone you know the connection would be there. They are the lifers 💚
Oh yes, I certainly connect with that 5 countries later. I found making friends when I was only living temporarily in a place much easier, the need for the friendship is different. I was in the flow of movement that happens in living abroad communities.
But now I’m trying to settle for a while, finding friends is much harder. The other English speakers, teachers or teaching assistants, are transient. Usually here only a short while. The settled ones have families, a disconnect as you know I cannot have children of my own. The locals although very welcoming out and about, haven’t much room in their agenda for new close friends.
Although I married a Spaniard, it wasn’t a ticket to a friendship group. He’s from a small town and most have left, only meeting in summer for Feria or during the Christmas break. They’re also either big drinkers, I can’t drink, or have children. So I feel a disconnect there too, they often ask why don’t I drink and when am I having children... Like you said, we’re all searching for common ground.
I didn’t realise how much time families take up, even if you see them once a week, that’s a social contact missing. I’ve inherited my husband’s family, who thankfully are lovely, but we live in a different city and his sister even further away!
So I write in the middle of a friendship challenge, I have friends I’ve managed to keep from school or university or home. But that makes most of my friendships online!
Okay I’m going to stop blabbing on, seems I’ve a lot to say on this subject! Xx
I see your point and I've actually lost a few friends to their new families (it sounds horrible, I know, but you get my point). Some people cannot keep on having the same friendship dynamics and raise 2 kids...
I think it comes with age too. When we were younger, we needed different kinds of friendships and we had more similar circumstances maybe. Now we look for more depth and stability maybe, as Nick said above too. Maybe similar to online dating 🙄, it's about sticking with it, keep putting in the effort to find or create new social groups in order to nurture meaningful friendships.
And online friendships are sweet too, wouldn't you say? 😉
Yeah me too, I’ve lost friends to babies. I think as you said they need other people with families and or just have less time.
I think it does get harder with age to meet people but I know myself I need much less social time than when I was in my 20s! I’m very happy with sofa time, and going out into the cold for a beer is just like why?!? I’m a coffee in the sun kinda gal 🤣
Yeah I see what you’re saying, haha like online dating, omg a lot of sifting through shit 💩 I did find my husband online! So I found my diamond in the poop!
I’ve gone through big lifestyle changes in the last few years and I think it doesn’t help my friendship situation. I can’t drink but I find it hard not to and be around drinkers, and it’s a common social ground.
I feel my point is sloshing around haha!
Yes! I totally agree! Thank you for being a sweet online friendship, though if you’re ever in Andalusia I hope we make it a real life one… If you like coffee in the sun too ☀️ haha!
Thing. I guess these are all common things when you’re around this age range you have to navigate when you don’t quite fit into any expected pattern. Particularly coming from North America, where work life balance is more toxic, and people travel less, it can make one feel like an odd ball, as I pretty much have my whole life. But, outwards, upwards, and onwards eh?
Loved this article Monica! Had to restack with quotes 3 times... 😅 I’ve lived in 7 countries throughout the past 9 years and it’s definitely not as “flashy” as some back home may think, but I’d never trade it for the world. I felt out of place growing up and even more so coming back now. I feel as though there comes a moment when we must properly grieve what has been and what will never come again in order to fully be able to embrace our new selves and where we’re going ❤️
I completely relate to this! I felt I didn’t fit when I was there, then fit even less when I returned. The home I knew had changed, and so had I. Those who haven’t done travel struggle to relate to it and as such it can be a disconnect. There is such beauty in living abroad but as you’d su there is a grief 💚
Elin, you're too kind, thank you for adding to this interesting conversation! It's a great input that we have to grieve the places and selves we don't identify with anymore to be able to move ahead. Such wise words. ❤️
I also have to tell you that I discovered you a few years ago on IG and I absolutely love your city embroidery art!! Lovely to see you've joined Substack too. 😊
Oh really?! That’s funny! I’ve actually been wondering if there would eventually be some who recognise but as I haven’t shared my embroidery art very much I thought I’d be incognito 🥸 I still run the embroidery art business but with kids Instagram didn’t feel right anymore (and I couldn’t bare the “perfect motherhood” posts that the algorithms pushed in my face. I got a visual overload of sorts that I’m just recovering from... very happy to be here in text 😅)
Yes, I totally get you. I quit IG and FB back in August and I couldn't be happier. My mind is calmer, I can concentrate better and I've had no withdrawal syndrome. I think as a mom it must be really tough with all those "perfect" motherhood images. Better here, the conversation seems to be richer, at least for now.
I moved with then husband to Prague from the U.K. for 2 years many years ago. All the friends we made were expats. I tried to arrange play dates for my 3 year old but the Czech women weren’t interested! What I found hardest was moving back to U.K. again. Living abroad helps you understand what’s wrong (and right) with your home culture, like you say, subtle changes like shoes or nails, what’s funny or how people talk. It took me longer to adjust after returning to U.K. than when we moved out there! I hear this a lot from people who’ve lived in other countries. It’s coming back that’s hard to adjust too, as you’re sort of alien then. Maybe it’s better to move on as you have. Thank you for sharing this 🙏🏻
Oh, thank you so much for sharing your experience, Kate! Yes, I've read about it and I can only imagine how hard it must be to move back to the home country. People you once knew moved on without you; you changed thanks to living abroad; you're now a foreigner in your place of birth... mind boggling! I hope your readjustment went well in the end! 🙏🏼
I did eventually it took about 4 years and I was away for 2! Leaving your home country can feel so liberating, and all that is lost when you go back... 😳
Ahh haha yes, I think the expression "first world problems" was invented for some US behaviors. ;) Travelling does help us put life and our own circumstances in perspective.
Oh gosh all the memories bubbling up from all the many places I’ve lived in and how hard it is to have returned “home” to Germany that just feels like a stranger I’m struggling to get to know again.
Maybe I should consider expat groups in Germany haha as I’m somehow more an expat than a German, only that I speak the local language.
When I lived in London, I only had international friends, no British, interestingly
This reminds me that when I lived in the US one of my best friends was a German girl, and when I lived in Germany I couldn't make any German friend... 🤣
I'm sure you'll relate very well to expats in Germany now.
Monica, what a beautifully written and thought-provoking essay. I really liked the elephant foot tree analogy, as I've been thinking a lot more about the few connections in my life that embody that time-tested quality. It's one of the best feelings to have those friendships that run deeper and feel like returning to a lost part of yourself, in some ways. I haven't been an expat or emigrated to another country, but I traveled across Asia for a year after college and it made me think a lot about the transience of friendships while on the road, as well as the way friendships back home felt different upon returning. Like you mentioned at the end, I've been in this space of not fighting to keep the connections alive that no longer feel the same. It's a grieving process for sure, but ultimately, we have to honor our own evolution and follow the path we're on. Thanks for sharing this! It was a pleasure to read. :)
Hi Brina, thanks so much for your input. I'm so happy to see it resonated. Travelling for a year through Asia counts almost as being an expat to me, especially upon your return. I bet everything seemed so different. Honoring our own evolution is definitely a mantra to go by! :)
Wow, I'm so grateful I came across your post. I so resonate! I've been living nomadically for 2 years now - changing cities every week or so - and my relationships have shifted dramatically, while others have become more rooted as you mention. I sometimes feel the guilt of leaving others behind, physically and emotionally, but I have to remind myself that some friends are only meant for certain chapters of our life.
I think the way we choose to live also speeds up our growth and evolution x 100. I've noticed this when I reconnect with old friends, they are still operating in the same way we did years ago. No judgement, but the path we've chosen is one of constant change (and more change). Thank you for your words, I'm looking forward to connecting with you more! You're one of the first people that I really resonate with their topic here on Substack (I'm new!).
Jenni, thank you for your kind words! And welcome to Substack and to the conversation. :)
Changing cities every week is hard!! Kudos to you! Like you say, it pushes you on the path to evolution at a fast speed. Of course, some people in our lives would stay behind, acknowledging it and letting it be is the wise choice.
I loved reading this. Making friends when you move to new places as an adult is such a strange social experiment. I spent nearly seven years on the road and had no problems making friends, but then I arrived in Australia. And, although it's not where I really wanted to spend my life, I met my partner and I've been living here for more than four years now. I've found it really hard to get on with expats here because they all want to be here and it was a real bucketlist place for them and a lot of people see it like this hot-weather beach-day-everyday utopia, whereas I see it quite differently.
We're also in a semi-rural area which is full of millionaires and horse properties and I have even less in common with them, so I've found my community in nature and in the birds and trees and through online connections. It's not quite the same, but I've all but given up on the real life thing. It's just too hard to meet my kinda people (as bad as that sounds!)
Hi Cassie, I very much understand you. There are seasons in life when we can't find our place, or when we enjoy the place (nature, animals) but can't find our people. I've been there too, and when you mentioned befriending nature I remembered when I did that too. It felt so in sync with life itself, but at the same time so lonely.
I hope you find your people, sometimes it feels hard, but unexpected surprises also happen! Maybe you need to become a millionaire first hahah! Sending you hugs!
Haha! Unless something changes very drastically that will never happen, but that's okay, it definitely isn't a life I want. I love my little quiet rental home in the countryside and my online community. I know things will change eventually, but I'm just trying to surrender to it and enjoy the process instead of forcing it. Look forward to reading more of your writing! 💜
I like how you identify time and distance as means of helping to clarify our views of friendships, two aspects I can relate to. I am an expat myself having left the UK over a decade ago. At times, I experience real conflict about how to maintain certain relationships both in the UK, and with those people who I met abroad and who have moved elsewhere.
Thanks for your kind words, Sarah! Happy to hear it resonated, it confirms that we expats have similar experiences regarding social interactions both with new people we meet and with older friends back home. It's a challenge but it's part of our growth. :)
Thank you for the article! Brilliant! As an expat I think that for first I learned to deal with loneliness, and I think I more open to friendships than before. Also I think that the background I'm living now is different than when I am from and this make me grow up different than my childhood friends, and I feel than I don't fit with them anymore.
A thoughtful look at living the expat life and surviving— with new friends yet keeping the old. You covered a lot of ground and I can relate to so much of it. Thank you. Happy New Year!
I will be honest, I fear wandering the earth forever. So that I'm hoping to resettle in Japan, and to stay there permanently in the days to come, as I have little liking for long trips and even less to constantly uproot.
That said, it is a struggle to find work there, to bring oneself to leave one's homeland even one as inhospitable as Canada is these days but it must be done.
As an expat think it can be easy to make friends bc other expats yearn for companionship and where we moved, to a fishing village in southern Mexico, the locals were friendly and warm and happy to talk to us and take interest. But we tend to be gregarious and enjoy others, socializing. Also I've kept in touch over the years w/ people from all my places I've lived. Which is great. I'm a Gemini and tend to be a bit of a social butterfly. Also I just like keeping connections.
Well said. I’ve experienced both sides at different times. I do think, whether as a local or a temporary local, we need to find ways of connecting to things in ways that enrich our spirits at a deeper level, and that’s where much joy and belonging comes from. Many expat friend groups I’ve seen seem to be based too often on superficial factors or temporary circumstance and don’t last. Of course, much the same could be said about coworkers or school mates even if you’re all from the same place. At this point, I just try to observe deeply and seek out kindred spirits wherever they are, and increasingly, seek out places where pro social and happy attitudes seem more ingrained in life as a matter of course.
That's a great add-on to my points, Nick. I fully agree that the least bit of common ground may not be enough for deeper connections that can last. Yeah, many expat groups are (also) superficial and temporary. The challenge is to find those kindred spirits, that's for sure!
I was once told a great saying for what you’ve described @Nick.
‘A friend for a season, a friend for a reason and a friend for life’.
I think expat groups are good for meeting people, but not so great for making lasting friendships as the connection is superficial and temporary as you said. So perhaps a friend for a season.
Those coworkers could fall under season or reason, the reason being work. It is the reason you become friends.
Then those deep connections and kindred spirits are the friends for life. Even if you don’t stay in touch, we all have those friends that if you did pick up the phone you know the connection would be there. They are the lifers 💚
Yep, pretty much.
Oh yes, I certainly connect with that 5 countries later. I found making friends when I was only living temporarily in a place much easier, the need for the friendship is different. I was in the flow of movement that happens in living abroad communities.
But now I’m trying to settle for a while, finding friends is much harder. The other English speakers, teachers or teaching assistants, are transient. Usually here only a short while. The settled ones have families, a disconnect as you know I cannot have children of my own. The locals although very welcoming out and about, haven’t much room in their agenda for new close friends.
Although I married a Spaniard, it wasn’t a ticket to a friendship group. He’s from a small town and most have left, only meeting in summer for Feria or during the Christmas break. They’re also either big drinkers, I can’t drink, or have children. So I feel a disconnect there too, they often ask why don’t I drink and when am I having children... Like you said, we’re all searching for common ground.
I didn’t realise how much time families take up, even if you see them once a week, that’s a social contact missing. I’ve inherited my husband’s family, who thankfully are lovely, but we live in a different city and his sister even further away!
So I write in the middle of a friendship challenge, I have friends I’ve managed to keep from school or university or home. But that makes most of my friendships online!
Okay I’m going to stop blabbing on, seems I’ve a lot to say on this subject! Xx
I see your point and I've actually lost a few friends to their new families (it sounds horrible, I know, but you get my point). Some people cannot keep on having the same friendship dynamics and raise 2 kids...
I think it comes with age too. When we were younger, we needed different kinds of friendships and we had more similar circumstances maybe. Now we look for more depth and stability maybe, as Nick said above too. Maybe similar to online dating 🙄, it's about sticking with it, keep putting in the effort to find or create new social groups in order to nurture meaningful friendships.
And online friendships are sweet too, wouldn't you say? 😉
Yeah me too, I’ve lost friends to babies. I think as you said they need other people with families and or just have less time.
I think it does get harder with age to meet people but I know myself I need much less social time than when I was in my 20s! I’m very happy with sofa time, and going out into the cold for a beer is just like why?!? I’m a coffee in the sun kinda gal 🤣
Yeah I see what you’re saying, haha like online dating, omg a lot of sifting through shit 💩 I did find my husband online! So I found my diamond in the poop!
I’ve gone through big lifestyle changes in the last few years and I think it doesn’t help my friendship situation. I can’t drink but I find it hard not to and be around drinkers, and it’s a common social ground.
I feel my point is sloshing around haha!
Yes! I totally agree! Thank you for being a sweet online friendship, though if you’re ever in Andalusia I hope we make it a real life one… If you like coffee in the sun too ☀️ haha!
Oh yes, I plan to be there in the spring! Let's plan for coffee and sunshine! In the meantime, I'm digging for diamonds through p**p.
Yeah, I’ve also experienced the family
Thing. I guess these are all common things when you’re around this age range you have to navigate when you don’t quite fit into any expected pattern. Particularly coming from North America, where work life balance is more toxic, and people travel less, it can make one feel like an odd ball, as I pretty much have my whole life. But, outwards, upwards, and onwards eh?
Especially outwards, if the lifestyle doesn't go well with your soul. ;-)
Loved this article Monica! Had to restack with quotes 3 times... 😅 I’ve lived in 7 countries throughout the past 9 years and it’s definitely not as “flashy” as some back home may think, but I’d never trade it for the world. I felt out of place growing up and even more so coming back now. I feel as though there comes a moment when we must properly grieve what has been and what will never come again in order to fully be able to embrace our new selves and where we’re going ❤️
I completely relate to this! I felt I didn’t fit when I was there, then fit even less when I returned. The home I knew had changed, and so had I. Those who haven’t done travel struggle to relate to it and as such it can be a disconnect. There is such beauty in living abroad but as you’d su there is a grief 💚
Elin, you're too kind, thank you for adding to this interesting conversation! It's a great input that we have to grieve the places and selves we don't identify with anymore to be able to move ahead. Such wise words. ❤️
I also have to tell you that I discovered you a few years ago on IG and I absolutely love your city embroidery art!! Lovely to see you've joined Substack too. 😊
Oh really?! That’s funny! I’ve actually been wondering if there would eventually be some who recognise but as I haven’t shared my embroidery art very much I thought I’d be incognito 🥸 I still run the embroidery art business but with kids Instagram didn’t feel right anymore (and I couldn’t bare the “perfect motherhood” posts that the algorithms pushed in my face. I got a visual overload of sorts that I’m just recovering from... very happy to be here in text 😅)
Yes, I totally get you. I quit IG and FB back in August and I couldn't be happier. My mind is calmer, I can concentrate better and I've had no withdrawal syndrome. I think as a mom it must be really tough with all those "perfect" motherhood images. Better here, the conversation seems to be richer, at least for now.
Yes it’s definitely richer here and at least it’s not the visual overload to the Same extent! Hope it lasts 🙏🏼❣️
I moved with then husband to Prague from the U.K. for 2 years many years ago. All the friends we made were expats. I tried to arrange play dates for my 3 year old but the Czech women weren’t interested! What I found hardest was moving back to U.K. again. Living abroad helps you understand what’s wrong (and right) with your home culture, like you say, subtle changes like shoes or nails, what’s funny or how people talk. It took me longer to adjust after returning to U.K. than when we moved out there! I hear this a lot from people who’ve lived in other countries. It’s coming back that’s hard to adjust too, as you’re sort of alien then. Maybe it’s better to move on as you have. Thank you for sharing this 🙏🏻
Oh, thank you so much for sharing your experience, Kate! Yes, I've read about it and I can only imagine how hard it must be to move back to the home country. People you once knew moved on without you; you changed thanks to living abroad; you're now a foreigner in your place of birth... mind boggling! I hope your readjustment went well in the end! 🙏🏼
I did eventually it took about 4 years and I was away for 2! Leaving your home country can feel so liberating, and all that is lost when you go back... 😳
Oh wow, that's a long readjustment!
The constant complaining and negative attitude, even when holding a 6.5€ Starbucks latte.
I can relate to that :)
Coming from poor rural New Zealand I was shocked by the waste and extravagance of the USA....
As well as the fact that people did not share food off their plates...HAAH.
Traveling to South Africa and Turkey and Portugal opened my eyes...
Great article :)
Ahh haha yes, I think the expression "first world problems" was invented for some US behaviors. ;) Travelling does help us put life and our own circumstances in perspective.
Oh gosh all the memories bubbling up from all the many places I’ve lived in and how hard it is to have returned “home” to Germany that just feels like a stranger I’m struggling to get to know again.
Maybe I should consider expat groups in Germany haha as I’m somehow more an expat than a German, only that I speak the local language.
When I lived in London, I only had international friends, no British, interestingly
This reminds me that when I lived in the US one of my best friends was a German girl, and when I lived in Germany I couldn't make any German friend... 🤣
I'm sure you'll relate very well to expats in Germany now.
🫶 ohhh yesss this sounds familiar.
Monica, what a beautifully written and thought-provoking essay. I really liked the elephant foot tree analogy, as I've been thinking a lot more about the few connections in my life that embody that time-tested quality. It's one of the best feelings to have those friendships that run deeper and feel like returning to a lost part of yourself, in some ways. I haven't been an expat or emigrated to another country, but I traveled across Asia for a year after college and it made me think a lot about the transience of friendships while on the road, as well as the way friendships back home felt different upon returning. Like you mentioned at the end, I've been in this space of not fighting to keep the connections alive that no longer feel the same. It's a grieving process for sure, but ultimately, we have to honor our own evolution and follow the path we're on. Thanks for sharing this! It was a pleasure to read. :)
Hi Brina, thanks so much for your input. I'm so happy to see it resonated. Travelling for a year through Asia counts almost as being an expat to me, especially upon your return. I bet everything seemed so different. Honoring our own evolution is definitely a mantra to go by! :)
Wow, I'm so grateful I came across your post. I so resonate! I've been living nomadically for 2 years now - changing cities every week or so - and my relationships have shifted dramatically, while others have become more rooted as you mention. I sometimes feel the guilt of leaving others behind, physically and emotionally, but I have to remind myself that some friends are only meant for certain chapters of our life.
I think the way we choose to live also speeds up our growth and evolution x 100. I've noticed this when I reconnect with old friends, they are still operating in the same way we did years ago. No judgement, but the path we've chosen is one of constant change (and more change). Thank you for your words, I'm looking forward to connecting with you more! You're one of the first people that I really resonate with their topic here on Substack (I'm new!).
Jenni, thank you for your kind words! And welcome to Substack and to the conversation. :)
Changing cities every week is hard!! Kudos to you! Like you say, it pushes you on the path to evolution at a fast speed. Of course, some people in our lives would stay behind, acknowledging it and letting it be is the wise choice.
I loved reading this. Making friends when you move to new places as an adult is such a strange social experiment. I spent nearly seven years on the road and had no problems making friends, but then I arrived in Australia. And, although it's not where I really wanted to spend my life, I met my partner and I've been living here for more than four years now. I've found it really hard to get on with expats here because they all want to be here and it was a real bucketlist place for them and a lot of people see it like this hot-weather beach-day-everyday utopia, whereas I see it quite differently.
We're also in a semi-rural area which is full of millionaires and horse properties and I have even less in common with them, so I've found my community in nature and in the birds and trees and through online connections. It's not quite the same, but I've all but given up on the real life thing. It's just too hard to meet my kinda people (as bad as that sounds!)
Hi Cassie, I very much understand you. There are seasons in life when we can't find our place, or when we enjoy the place (nature, animals) but can't find our people. I've been there too, and when you mentioned befriending nature I remembered when I did that too. It felt so in sync with life itself, but at the same time so lonely.
I hope you find your people, sometimes it feels hard, but unexpected surprises also happen! Maybe you need to become a millionaire first hahah! Sending you hugs!
Haha! Unless something changes very drastically that will never happen, but that's okay, it definitely isn't a life I want. I love my little quiet rental home in the countryside and my online community. I know things will change eventually, but I'm just trying to surrender to it and enjoy the process instead of forcing it. Look forward to reading more of your writing! 💜
So glad that I found your piece Monica via Notes!
I like how you identify time and distance as means of helping to clarify our views of friendships, two aspects I can relate to. I am an expat myself having left the UK over a decade ago. At times, I experience real conflict about how to maintain certain relationships both in the UK, and with those people who I met abroad and who have moved elsewhere.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for your kind words, Sarah! Happy to hear it resonated, it confirms that we expats have similar experiences regarding social interactions both with new people we meet and with older friends back home. It's a challenge but it's part of our growth. :)
By the way, I’m writing now as well, recently posted my first entries.
Thanks, I will check them!
Thank you for the article! Brilliant! As an expat I think that for first I learned to deal with loneliness, and I think I more open to friendships than before. Also I think that the background I'm living now is different than when I am from and this make me grow up different than my childhood friends, and I feel than I don't fit with them anymore.
Grazie mille, Flavio! Making and keeping friends as an expat is challenging, but it's all part of our lessons and our growth, right?
Yes yes, that's life! I also think that we grow the experience to understand who deserves an effort to be kept.
Very true, we cannot hold on to everyone as we evolve.
A thoughtful look at living the expat life and surviving— with new friends yet keeping the old. You covered a lot of ground and I can relate to so much of it. Thank you. Happy New Year!
Thank you, Jeanine! I'm glad to hear it resonated with you. Happy New Year!
I will be honest, I fear wandering the earth forever. So that I'm hoping to resettle in Japan, and to stay there permanently in the days to come, as I have little liking for long trips and even less to constantly uproot.
That said, it is a struggle to find work there, to bring oneself to leave one's homeland even one as inhospitable as Canada is these days but it must be done.
Good luck finding the home you need to feel well, be it Japan or elsewhere.
Thanks
I just discovered your page, I am so happy that I did.
Ciao, Marco! Welcome & thank you 🤗
As an expat think it can be easy to make friends bc other expats yearn for companionship and where we moved, to a fishing village in southern Mexico, the locals were friendly and warm and happy to talk to us and take interest. But we tend to be gregarious and enjoy others, socializing. Also I've kept in touch over the years w/ people from all my places I've lived. Which is great. I'm a Gemini and tend to be a bit of a social butterfly. Also I just like keeping connections.