All the feelings you describe, all the ups and downs of going back where you grew up.
What is even weirder is that I find myself agreeing with multiple of the descriptions from your readers, even though they do not agree with each other. Like a mild form of schizophrenia.
For instance, I consider both Denmark and Greece to be my homes. And I agree with Charlie Becker's definition (a place where they cannot turn you away). At the same time though, I have heard multiple times the phrase "well what do you care, you don't leave here anymore". Isn't that a kind of rejection? And if so, does it mean I should not agree with Charlie? Or that if I do agree, Greece is not really my home?
Very difficult topic and you did a great job tackling it.
That's a great point you raise here: you can have multiple, different ways in which you understand what home is, just like - for people like us - you can have multiple places you call home. And there's another question: is 'home' just one singular place for each of us, like the origin point, or can there be more homes, all just as essential? 😅
When you live abroad, there is a disconnect from people from your place of origin, and often we perceive their viewpoint as rejecting us. Just like you say about Greece. We feel as outsiders and they see us as outsiders. And yet, we are home. Go figure.
Of course, you are right. It is more of a philosophical thought that, if everyone thinks you are an outsider, maybe there is some truth to that. Because there are indeed things that we are losing touch with.
I LOVED all those definitions! And you got the whole spectrum of human experience in there, from 'the goal is to come home' to 'home is wherever you go' (to my makeup brushes lol). You always have a unique way of expressing feelings with mental pictures <3
Oh thank you, dear Barbs! 🩷 It's true, all those quotes form a spectrum, really nice way of seeing it. The makeup brushes... that's the salt & pepper of the piece haha!!
Home is certainly a layered concept, Monica, and your essay was wonderfully evocative.
I left my birth country permanently in 1993 and was never considered an ex-pat anywhere thereafter. A foreigner, yes. A migrant, sometimes. Looking for "home," often. I am still not sure where that is.
Isn't that true for so many of us?! After we leave our birthplace, we keep looking for 'home', almost like the concept got distorted or dissolved into thin air.
Beautiful work. Home. Homeland. Neverland. This is the only place in the world I will never go back. The place I used to live in. I am not fond of memories, of the past. I don’t care about my old school. I don’t care about the old lady selling candy, the small shops around.. I don’t need that in my actual life. I live now in a nice place but fine with me if we have to leave. I’ll just find another one elsewhere. “Home” is a (my) state of mind. I feel at home wherever in the world when I like what I feel. Peace. Beauty. Love. Sharing time with nice people. (Sorry i am French and doing my best to make myself clear). Thank you for making me realize I have this point of view.
"And yet, during the dark winter months, especially during the darkest point, around the winter solstice, we all hear a calling to go closer to whatever home means for each of us. Like a flock of sheep returning home at dusk." This is so true, Monica. I have a complex relationship with travelling back to my original home but come Christmas' time there's a weird atavic urge to be there. It's always helpful to read about how other people feel about it and how we can find our home in the most unexpected places or people.
Similar to what you expressed, home to me is linked to childhood memory. I was born and raised near Seattle, and the sights, sounds, and smells of the Pacific Northwest will always define the concept of home for me. I have moved many different places and my chosen profession makes me a permanent expat, but I still return to Seattle physically at least once per year (all my family still resides there), and mentally I find myself wandering back there almost every day. In fact, the name of my substack, The Evergreen Press (https://dl831.substack.com/), is designed to honor the place I come from.
What a beautiful way to interpret home from the scents that remind you of it. We usually overuse sight for memories, but I definitely see how smells bring you home wherever you are in the world. Thanks for reading!
Lovely!
Beautiful writing!
Beautiful 🫶🏻
Yes, elusive…Thanks for this!
I think elusive is such a good word to describe home for us, migrants.
I sometimes find myself pulled into the ex-pat conversation but I think, for us, it’s a whole different ball game.
Absolutely!
Awww got so happy to see what you quoted 🥰 Thank you dear 🫶🏼
Thank *you* for sharing that post of yours with me! 💛
Damn it Monica, this hits right "home".
All the feelings you describe, all the ups and downs of going back where you grew up.
What is even weirder is that I find myself agreeing with multiple of the descriptions from your readers, even though they do not agree with each other. Like a mild form of schizophrenia.
For instance, I consider both Denmark and Greece to be my homes. And I agree with Charlie Becker's definition (a place where they cannot turn you away). At the same time though, I have heard multiple times the phrase "well what do you care, you don't leave here anymore". Isn't that a kind of rejection? And if so, does it mean I should not agree with Charlie? Or that if I do agree, Greece is not really my home?
Very difficult topic and you did a great job tackling it.
That's a great point you raise here: you can have multiple, different ways in which you understand what home is, just like - for people like us - you can have multiple places you call home. And there's another question: is 'home' just one singular place for each of us, like the origin point, or can there be more homes, all just as essential? 😅
When you live abroad, there is a disconnect from people from your place of origin, and often we perceive their viewpoint as rejecting us. Just like you say about Greece. We feel as outsiders and they see us as outsiders. And yet, we are home. Go figure.
The thing is, I do not feel as an outsider in Greece... Should I?
You 'should' nothing. Whatever you feel, that's the right way.
Of course, you are right. It is more of a philosophical thought that, if everyone thinks you are an outsider, maybe there is some truth to that. Because there are indeed things that we are losing touch with.
I have a different experience. I feel 99% as an outsider in Romania, the memories and familiar places startle me, like coming from another life. 😊
I LOVED all those definitions! And you got the whole spectrum of human experience in there, from 'the goal is to come home' to 'home is wherever you go' (to my makeup brushes lol). You always have a unique way of expressing feelings with mental pictures <3
Oh thank you, dear Barbs! 🩷 It's true, all those quotes form a spectrum, really nice way of seeing it. The makeup brushes... that's the salt & pepper of the piece haha!!
Home is certainly a layered concept, Monica, and your essay was wonderfully evocative.
I left my birth country permanently in 1993 and was never considered an ex-pat anywhere thereafter. A foreigner, yes. A migrant, sometimes. Looking for "home," often. I am still not sure where that is.
Agreed
Isn't that true for so many of us?! After we leave our birthplace, we keep looking for 'home', almost like the concept got distorted or dissolved into thin air.
Emoție pură. Mulțumesc, Monica!
This is so beautiful
Thank you, Vince!
Beautiful work. Home. Homeland. Neverland. This is the only place in the world I will never go back. The place I used to live in. I am not fond of memories, of the past. I don’t care about my old school. I don’t care about the old lady selling candy, the small shops around.. I don’t need that in my actual life. I live now in a nice place but fine with me if we have to leave. I’ll just find another one elsewhere. “Home” is a (my) state of mind. I feel at home wherever in the world when I like what I feel. Peace. Beauty. Love. Sharing time with nice people. (Sorry i am French and doing my best to make myself clear). Thank you for making me realize I have this point of view.
Merci for reading my piece! Home is a state of mind, beautifully said and I resonate with it too!
Thanks!
The Universe.
Home is the Universe.
"And yet, during the dark winter months, especially during the darkest point, around the winter solstice, we all hear a calling to go closer to whatever home means for each of us. Like a flock of sheep returning home at dusk." This is so true, Monica. I have a complex relationship with travelling back to my original home but come Christmas' time there's a weird atavic urge to be there. It's always helpful to read about how other people feel about it and how we can find our home in the most unexpected places or people.
I fully understand that weird, atavic urge, despite the complex relationship with going home any other time of the year...
As someone who has spent much of her life without a real home or sense of home, I really identify with this post.
My definition of home is where you feel accepted and feel like you can be yourself. Where you feel nourished and safe. Where you can just be.
I love your definition of home! Thanks for reading, Kaila!
Similar to what you expressed, home to me is linked to childhood memory. I was born and raised near Seattle, and the sights, sounds, and smells of the Pacific Northwest will always define the concept of home for me. I have moved many different places and my chosen profession makes me a permanent expat, but I still return to Seattle physically at least once per year (all my family still resides there), and mentally I find myself wandering back there almost every day. In fact, the name of my substack, The Evergreen Press (https://dl831.substack.com/), is designed to honor the place I come from.
What a beautiful way to interpret home from the scents that remind you of it. We usually overuse sight for memories, but I definitely see how smells bring you home wherever you are in the world. Thanks for reading!